"I'm here!" I hollered! This was it, to all the months I've spent searching. All the oceans I've crossed, the hot and cold lands I've been to, it was all worth it. Sweat, blood, and tears were put into this adventure. I used almost all my life savings for this map, and left my old city life, but adventure is my new lifestyle. Now, I'm inside a cave that holds a thousand bats and other creepy crawlies, the treasure chest right in front of me. I put my hand in the box and felt... Nothing? Ugh! I shouldn’t have trusted that guy from craigslist!
I really like the end of your story! It had a very good plot twist. Although your second sentence is really long, could you split into two perhaps?
ReplyDeleteI found it really funny because I was expecting another map.
ReplyDeleteI like the twist in your story but make sure you don't have to many run on sentences.
ReplyDeleteYour story was really good. Funny ending! But, at the end of the story you wrote ``I shouldn`t have trusted that guy from craigslist`` I think it should be ``from THE craigslist.`` but other than that good job on your story!
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